There's Some Gibberish on your Foot

I've stumbled on some fresh bad Hebrew ink today, and here it is for your viewing pleasure:

Two feet. Two girls. Two unknown Hebrew somethings.

This Hebrew tattoo begins with a Mem Sofit (a letter that only goes at the end of a word) which immediately renders it incorrect. The rest of it seems to be random letters.

Ideas, anyone?

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Mystery Hebrew Tummy Tattoo

Faces have been concealed on this bad Hebrew tattoo to protect victim identity:

As you can see, it is an elaborate body tattoo, in it's center some large Hebrew lettering that gloriously spells out... Moa. What's a Moa? Your guess is as good as mine.

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Unidentified Hebrew Tattoo

Today I have a challenge for you Hebrew savvy people, an unidentified Hebrew tattoo:


Seriously, what was this guy going for?

If you apply some liberal spacing, this disaster of a Hebrew tattoo could come to read something along the lines of "Mined the god". On the other hand, there's a big English tattoo just below the Hebrew one, reading "Israel", so maybe that's what he meant...

In any case - As is, that Hebrew tattoo doesn't mean anything, it's pure gibberish. I would like to know what it was supposed to be, though. Ideas?

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A Sinner's Tattoo

This guy probably wanted to make a tribute to his lifestyle by choosing to tattoo "Keep Living in Sin" in Hebrew on his chest...


Unusual? Yes. Successful? Not so much.

In reality, this is a combination of Hebrew letters that has no meaning whatsoever. It's just gibberish.

How can this atrocity be explained? Well, it looks like one of the worst attempts ever to write the ever popular "Forgiven". If the victim was going for the traditional Salach, but wrote it backwards, got the last letter wrong, doubled it and added a Sofit for good measure, that is.

Only God (and maybe a greedy translator with no scruples) can tell what this mangled Hebrew word has anything to do with "Keep Living in Sin". It could even be God's special way to inform our victim that he doesn't approve of his lifestyle, but that he can find forgiveness despite everything.

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The Faithless Verse

Today we have yet another spiritual Hebrew tattoo. A biblical verse. Whatever could it say?


What, you don't recognize this verse? Might be because it's total gibberish.

Yes, our poor victim went in for a verse, the ever popular Hebrews 11:1, which speaks of faith and its definition. In this case, her faith was misplaced as this Hebrew tattoo has nothing to do with anything, it's simply comprised of some randomly jumbled Hebrew letters.

Even if you don't know Hebrew at all, you can see that all the words in this tattoo are three lettered and differ by the middle letter only.


The verse Hebrews 11:1, says: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen", and this is how you can write it in Hebrew:


When considering this verse for your tattoo, you should keep in mind that the New Testament wasn't originally written in Hebrew, so this is just a translation. For authenticity's sake, wouldn't it be better to just get it in its original Greek?

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Weaklings Get Tattoos Too

Some people know their weaknesses and are not afraid to show them. Or, you know, tattoo them in a big bold Hebrew font on their arm...


Don't know what other weaknesses this victim has, but bad knowledge of the Hebrew language is certainly one of them.

His tattoo has three totally random words in Hebrew. The first word, "Hulsha", means weakness. The second word, "Mkubal", means accepted or popular. The third word - that one is just an incorrectly formed nonsense word that has no meaning.

How can this even happen? I would have blamed some automatic translation service, except I don't know how to explain that last gibberish word. Very strange indeed.

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God's Name, All Messed Up

Today's victim is walking around with a particularly ridiculous Hebrew tattoo on his wrist:


All this guy wanted is a spiritual tattoo saying "The Lord's" in Hebrew. I bet those of you who know Hebrew are scratching your heads in confusion, as this bad Hebrew tattoo spells out a nonsense word.

Somehow, whoever attempted this sad translation couldn't distinguish "The Lord's" from "The Lords" - and so he took God's most sacred name, YHWH, and attempted to turn it into multiple form. You just don't do that! Especially not to a God who is all about oneness.

Also, the Nikkud (vowel dots) on this tattoo is totally random. And it's ugly too. If any Hebrew tattoo deserves the title of Epic Fail - this is the one.

How would you write "The Lord's" in Hebrew? Something like this:


This basically says "Belong to my master", I think it conveys the original meaning best, while avoiding the offensiveness of tattooing God's sacred name. Good for BDSM purposes too.

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Skeleton Boy

I have no idea what this one is supposed to be:


This Hebrew tattoo basically spells out: "Skeleton from Isdael", but without the spaces.

Did he mean "Skeleton from Israel"? That could somewhat explain why the Hebrew language was used. However, just by looking at his arm you can see this guy is no skeleton!

Ideas, anyone? I would love to know just what this mangled Hebrew tattoo is all about.

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Dream of Changing Lands

Sometimes Hebrew tattoos can be very weird. When your Hebrew tattoo is designed by a Korean tattoo artist, those chances soar sky high.


This lovely piece says, when you read it backwards and ignore final-form letters in mid word: The truth and lands of change on I'll dream. Bad bad bad!

Your guess is as good as mine as to what this was actually supposed to mean...

This particular Korean artist has been featured here twice before. The first time, he defined Music. Another time, he wrote a love letter. Yes, this guy is still at large, buyers beware!

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Beware of Spiritual Gematria Gibberish

Today's victim has an especially spiritual Hebrew tattoo. So spiritual, in fact, that its impossible to know what he meant by it at all...


See, according to the victim, this Hebrew tattoo is supposed to have some Gematria meaning.

Gematria is the Jewish practice of converting Hebrew letters into numbers and then looking for some special meanings based on that value. This practice is of course completely bogus - you can pick and choose your results to suit your agenda, but it looks impressive enough to con the ignorant. For example, it might lead you to believe that Sarah Palin is the devil's disciple.

Back on topic, today's Hebrew tattoo is simply composed of random letters, and does not mean anything. Sure, it might convert to some number in Gematria, but who cares? In the Hebrew language this tattoo is just a pile of gibberish.

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The Gibberish Warrior

Today's victim is a real tough guy. Not only does he wear camo, he also got a Hebrew tattoo labeling himself as a warrior.


Or at least warrior in Hebrew was the intention... The result is just a sad gibberish tattoo.

It's interesting, we've already seen a warrior girl who ended up with a strange tattoo, now we also have the guy version.

This tattoo almost looks like a case of keyboard misuse (switching the keyboard to Hebrew and typing in the English word), except it's not consistent with the standard English-to-Hebrew keyboard mapping. I have no idea how he got it, do you?

Now, below is the correct Hebrew spellings of "warrior". You can see that it looks nothing like the random gibberish this guy got inked on his arm.


Yes, warrior is a gender specific word in Hebrew, don't say you weren't warned!

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Jamil's First Hebrew Lesson

Continuing with the Hebrew tattoo name trend, today we have a victim named Jamil. Clever guy that he is, Jamil decided to conquer the Hebrew language all by himself...


He failed miserably. This Hebrew tattoo is impossible do decipher. It's a road map to disaster.

Instead of a J sound in Jamil, there's a G (as in God).

You can see that the tattoo was supposed to be a top-to-bottom feature, but there are actually two letters in one of the rows. Yes, Yod is a smallish letter, but it still deserves a row of its own!

We've seen that some of the Hebrew letters have two forms, the regular and the final. See the following table:


Our friend Jamil probably found a similar table and saw that the letter Mem has two forms. What did he do? He thought it would be best to use both forms in his tattoo. Better safe than sorry? Not in this case.

Now, this is how you properly write Jamil in Hebrew:


You see how I wrote the name right to left? It's because the letters are of different heights, it would look quite awkward and ugly written from top to bottom.

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Good Thing He's All About Forgiveness

One of the most common motifs in Hebrew tattoos that can be seen on Christians, is forgiveness. Do they somehow feel guilty? I don't really understand it myself, but there you have it:


Or maybe not.

Today's victim wanted a Hebrew "Forgiven" tattoo, inside a fish. However, he was maliciously duped. Really, I just can't see any other explanation to this. Those are just random letters, and the word begins with a sofit. Fail? Totally.

The real question here, is whether this guy will be capable to forgive whomever mangled his tattoo translation for him...

Now, boys, this is how you properly write "[was] Forgiven" in Hebrew. There are two words you could use, Nislach or Nimchal. Mind, this is the male version.


And this is the female version of "[was] Forgiven", Nislecha or Nimchela:

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The Guy Who REALLY Hated Furniture

Today's victim's Hebrew tattoo may appear a random jumble of letters from the first glance, but it can gain several meanings if you just carefully apply spacing...


For example, spaced this way, it says "And [he] hated a stool". Did he hate that stool enough to tattoo it on his wrist?


Of course, the tattoo might actually refer to the guy's girlfriend, a chatty girl apparently, if she is the explanation behind a Hebrew tattoo that says "And [she] hated silence".


Have any idea what this victim originally meant? Tell me!

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It's a Word... It's a Number... It's Superfail!

As far as today's victim is concerned, this tattoo is a "treaty number":


Now, I have no idea what a treaty number is, but I can spot a weird Hebrew tattoo, and this one is their crowned king.

Sure, you can represent numbers by letters in Hebrew, but not like this! Those are just random Hebrew letters, complete gibberish.

There's a simple way to spot a bogus tattoo even if you don't know much Hebrew. Just compare it to the Hebrew alphabet. If you find any Sofit (final form) letters in the middle of a word, then it's a bad tattoo. Letters can only appear in their final form at the end of a word, never elsewhere!

Did you think there might be a Sofit in this so called word? There are four.

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First Learn a Language, THEN Use It

Just found this one yesterday and it gets a direct ticket to the top of the pile, it is just that good:


The victim explains: "The word is Tshalach which is hebrew and means that my spirit is growning for more of the holy spirit."

And how did she acquire said word? By switching her keyboard to Hebrew mode and typing in the English letters. Hell, we've seen it all before. The result, as you can probably guess, is total nonsense.

There's a lesson here boys and girls. If you aren't coherent in your own mother tongue, do not attempt a tattoo in a foreign language that you don't know. Also, don't do drugs.

For those of you interested in the word "Tshalach", it is a misspelled Hebrew word for "You Will Send", it refers to a male sender and is actually pronounced "Tishlach". This incorrect and unremarkable word became somewhat famous by starring in a Christian song by one Eddie James. Here, check it out:



Still interested? This is how you write "Tishlach" (You Will Send) in Hebrew:


I urge you against getting this tattooed on your skin, as it's just a mundane word, it carries no special meaning.
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The Ten Commandments - Gibberish Edition

The Ten Commandments make for such a great tattoo, they show your faith in God in a most illustrative manner. Everyone knows what those two slabs of stone say, and tattooing them in Hebrew adds that special touch of authenticity...


Unless what's written on them is total nonsense.

On this tattoo you can see a bunch of random Hebrew letters - artfully arranged. So lame.

Wouldn't it be better to just write out the commandments in English, rather than make yourself a laughing stock?

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Mark of a True Genius

There is stupid, and then there's this:


This genius of a girl wanted a "Child of God" tattoo in Hebrew. What did she do? Switched her keyboard to Hebrew mode and typed in the English letters of the phrase, then tattooed the result on her wrist. The result is sad, meaningless gibberish.

Hebrew being a right-to-left language, the writing ends up backwards when reversed back to English. Just read the caption right to left, only then you shall get the message.

This is how a Hebrew-English keyboard is mapped (pic lifted from Davka). If you have any doubts of the the message, you can trace it back yourself!



Right. For today's Hebrew lesson we will learn to write "Child of God" in Hebrew. Do pay attention, the word "Child" is gender specific: "Yeled" for a boy-child and "Yalda" for a girl-child:

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The Pruning of a Totally Spiritual Tattoo

Today's victim of the needle thought she was getting a great conversation piece, something special to celebrate, flaunt and force her spirituality on others. She was going to tattoo a bible verse on her foot, in genuine Hebrew. She chose Psalm 18:2...

What she got was this:


For those who don't know their verses by heart, here's Psalm 18:2, in English:

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

You're probably thinking there's no way such a long and complex verse can fit into just two words. If you thought that, you're correct!

What does it say? Random crap. The first word (on the right), doesn't mean anything at all. The second word can be read as "Zmira", which means "Pruning" in Hebrew.

This tattoo is so bad, it really should be pruned off!


Today's Hebrew lesson; This is what Psalm 18:2 looks like in Hebrew:


Word of advice, if you're going to tattoo a bible verse, compare it to a verified source.

I have no idea how today's victim managed to get it so wrong. There are websites where you can see Old Testament verses in Hebrew, or you can buy a Hebrew bible, but do try to get it right!

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The Hapless Warrior Girl

What do they say? Those who can, do; those who can't, tattoo it on their skin?

This surely appears to be the case, as shown by today's Hebrew tattoo. It was supposed to designate its bearer as a "Warrior", but in actuality it is one big fail.



The tattoo says "Saach", which in Hebrew doesn't mean anything. There is no such word.


For the sake of all future Xena wannabees, I enclose here the correct translation of "Warrior" in Hebrew.

"Warrior" is a gender specific word in Hebrew. The male form reads "Lochem", while the female is "Lochemet". Make sure you've got the right one!

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