Her Name was Lost in Rotation

When I first saw this tattoo, I thought it wasn't Hebrew writing at all. It looks like some weird script, Martian maybe?

The victim claims this Hebrew-like doodle to be her name, and on closer inspection I realized that it really was. It just so happened that when trying to render her tattoo vertically, some letters were rotated and some were not, creating this very strange result.

I never had to draw this particular chart before:

In any case, the Hebrew tattoo most likely says "Ebony Eve". Most likely, since aside from being mis-rotated, it's also slightly misspelled. So if you have another interpretation of this name, I'd love to hear it!


And this is how you would correctly write "Ebony Eve" in Hebrew. Ebony on the right, Eve is on the left.

My suggestion, when it comes to words which have letters of different height, is not to rotate it letter by letter. It just doesn't look nice.

Want your Hebrew tattoo to be vertical? Just turn the whole thing 90 degrees counter-clockwise. Like this:

Your Name is What? Collin

First, an announcement. You can now comfortably browse Bad Hebrew Tattoos on your iPhone, using our brand new iPhone App, available for free!

Back to buisness, today we have a name tattoo, something we haven't seen in a while. This victim wanted the name Collin, tattooed in Hebrew on his arm. He ended up with this:

To tell you the truth, had this tattoo not been labeled on the site I plucked it from, I would have never been able to interpret it correctly! It reads like a misspelled Ka'alelinen, not at all what the poet intended.

There are several glaring mistakes in this bad Hebrew tattoo. First, the doubling of the letter Lamed - in Hebrew you don't do that, even if Collin does have double L. If it sounds like one L, you write just one Lamed, otherwise a vowel between the two Ls is assumed. Same goes for all double-letter names, such as Anna, Todd or Bobby.

Then, there is the last letter, Nun. The victim unwittingly wrote both final and not-final forms of the letter, instead of using just one. This is a very common (and ugly) mistake, for which alphabet guides and their unaware users are to be blamed.

And finally, the O in Collin is much better represented by a Vav and not the Ayin our victim chose.


Correcting all that, we get a correctly spelled Collin in Hebrew. Note that this spelling can be used for all similarly pronounced names, like Colin or Coline.

Tombstone Girl and her List of Dead Relatives

What better way to remember your dearly departed than a Hebrew tattoo with relevant names and dates all over your back? Everyone around you now has to remember them too!


Tombstone girl here obviously thought it was a bright idea, but she didn't invest too much time to obtain the correct lettering. As a result her tattoo (the Hebrew part) reads:

Lila daughter of Raniel son of Abrahab (Daniel son of Abraham)
25 of Sayar (25 of Sivan - a Hebrew date)
Porsha Lerach (Korach)
RIP

Morbid much? If you're going to be a walking memorial, at least spell it right...

Something from Alien

Some bad Hebrew tattoos are just too funny. Take this one, for example. This victim wanted a tattoo of her kid's name "Noah James", and so she got this:


I'm sorry to report that this hardly says "Noah James". Roughly translated, it actually reads "Hatch with Comfort" in Hebrew. This new meaning is totally coincidental, and creepily reminds me of Alien.


So what went wrong here?

The first name, Noah, is actually correct, assuming that you accept its Hebrew pronunciation - NO-akh. However, it was placed as the second word. Remember, Hebrew is written right-to-left, the first word should be on the right.

The second name, James, is simply bogus. Whoever composed this, probably had no clue how to write James in Hebrew. Solution? Take a different name - Jacob, and flip it backwards. Voila!


So, this is how you write "Noah James" in Hebrew. I've written two versions - the top features the Hebrew pronunciation of Noah (NO-akh), on the bottom is the English one (NO-ah).

The Names Puzzle

Today's victim decided to tattoo all the names of his family members, in Hebrew, on his leg:


Now, we've been over this one before. You should never attempt to transcribe a name into Hebrew, unless you know Hebrew really well.

The names, for some reason, are written top-to-bottom. Bad idea! Hebrew is not a top-to-bottom language, it's a right-to-left language. You can write words top-to-bottom for decorative purposes, but then putting them next to each other is very stupid.

Let's sum up the damage (starting at the right corner):

• Geanat - Very misspelled. Was it supposed to be Ganneth, maybe Janet? It's impossible to tell.
• Alan - Misspelled, since the last letter in that name is a Nun, which should appear in its final form, and doesn't. I'm not at all sure the author was going for Alan, either. It might well have been intended to be Ellen.
• Raina - It's readable, but not at all how you'd write it according to conventions.
• Mikhaal - I guess it was supposed to be Michael (My-Kel), but it doesn't read that way. Michael is a biblical name, it's very easy to look up the correct spelling.
• Raines - If it was meant to read Raines, that's not how you'd write it. If it was meant to be something else, then I don't know what that is.
  

Why did this disaster of a tattoo happen to out poor victim?

Well, just knowing the alphabet isn't enough. Many sounds have several Hebrew letters that can represent them (such as V,K,A,KH), Other sounds don't have any representation in the old Hebrew alphabet, and have special accommodations in Modern Hebrew (like: ZH, CH, TH). There are the final-form letter that shouldn't be neglected.

And, of course, there are the conventions. Most foreign names actually have conventions for the way you would write them in Hebrew. Writing them differently looks very bad.

Chronology of Tattoo Disaster

Today's victim owns a very special piece of jewelry. It's a necklace, and it features her name written in Hebrew. The victim probably likes it a lot, as she decided to base her permanent tattoo on the little trinket:


What is the girl's name, anyway? Honestly, I don't know.

Unless She is actually named "Dabima", as her necklace suggests, it would be safe to assume that the necklace is misspelled. If I had to guess, I'd say "Rebecca", though a terribly misspelled one.

Now look at the tattoo., see how much worse than the necklace it turned out. Every single letter is misshapen somehow. Several even morphed into entirely different letters.

Using your jewelry as a template for a Hebrew tattoo - bad idea. Using misspelled jewelry - even worse! Don't do it kids, it's just not worth the grief!

Jamil's First Hebrew Lesson

Continuing with the Hebrew tattoo name trend, today we have a victim named Jamil. Clever guy that he is, Jamil decided to conquer the Hebrew language all by himself...


He failed miserably. This Hebrew tattoo is impossible do decipher. It's a road map to disaster.

Instead of a J sound in Jamil, there's a G (as in God).

You can see that the tattoo was supposed to be a top-to-bottom feature, but there are actually two letters in one of the rows. Yes, Yod is a smallish letter, but it still deserves a row of its own!

We've seen that some of the Hebrew letters have two forms, the regular and the final. See the following table:


Our friend Jamil probably found a similar table and saw that the letter Mem has two forms. What did he do? He thought it would be best to use both forms in his tattoo. Better safe than sorry? Not in this case.

Now, this is how you properly write Jamil in Hebrew:


You see how I wrote the name right to left? It's because the letters are of different heights, it would look quite awkward and ugly written from top to bottom.

Worst Hebrew Jessica So Far

Edit: Yes, I admit it, I was wrong. As pointed out by Anonymous, Yiska is the original Hebrew name for Jessica (and I never knew!!). Most Hebrew speakers would probably be confused by this rather obscure name, but it's all true.

Deep apologies to the owner of this not-wrong-after-all tattoo. I'm leaving the post up, just so you can see that Typo can go wrong too.


Jessica is a popular name for girls, and apparently many of them want their names on Hebrew tattoos. I have already had the pleasure of hosting a bad Jessica tattoo here on the site a while back. The badness of today's entry, though... is very hard to beat.


To make a long story short, this tattoo says "Iska". I would have never identified this as "Jessica", had the owner not said so herself.

There are three big problems here, and a fourth smaller one:

• The worst is the substitution of J by the Hebrew letter Yod. We've seen the same thing in Christina Aguilera's Hebrew tattoo. Unlike Aguilera's case, however, this one is a definite mistake that cannot be explained away!
• The I in Jessica is tragically missing. Wherever did it go?
  
• The Nikkud (vowels) is completely random. Honestly, if you don't know your Nikkud, it is much better to leave it out than to proceed making a fool of yourself.
  
• And the most insignificant: The C in Jessica is not the one conventionally used for this name. The name Jessica is usually written with a Qof, while the tattoo uses a Kaf. It's not a very big deal, but the natives would notice.

Yes, this is how "Jessica" can be turned into "Iska" in just four easy steps!

Now, if you're also happen to be named Jessica, and you're after a Hebrew tattoo of your very own, this is how it's correctly written in Hebrew:


And do remember folks, if it's a name tattoo that you desire, never attempt composing it yourself! Even if you feel confident in your Hebrew abilities, there are conventions for writing foreign names in modern Hebrew, and you're very unlikely to get it right.

The only way to avoid a wreck is by asking a native Hebrew speaker for a translation, then verifying with another native speaker (you can never be too sure!). You could also use Reut's translation service. She's the one responsible for the surprising lack of bad Hebrew tattoos on Flickr these days...

The Tragic Tale of Smelly Sarah

Today's victim, a girl named Sarah, wanted a tattoo of her name in Hebrew, and she wanted to compose it herself.

Sarah knew that Hebrew has no vowels, and her name should be composed of the letters S, R and H. She carefully chose her letters, and ended up with this tattooed in Hebrew on her back:


Well, this is someone's name alright, but it doesn't say "Sarah". Instead, it's this guy's name:
Those of you familiar with the Moomin TV series, will recognize the above critter as Stinky, or in his Hebrew name - Serach.

In fact, both S (Samekh) and H (Het) chosen by Sarah for her tattoo, are the wrong letters. The result can be read several ways, all of them describing stench. The proper letters for the name Sarah, as written in the old testament, are Shin and He.

Sarah's Hebrew tattoo is especially unfortunate, so let that be a lesson to you all. Never tattoo something on your body without confirming it first with a native Hebrew speaker. Disaster might be waiting right around your corner.

We've actually covered the name Sarah before, but here's a repeat. This is how you properly write Sarah in Hebrew:

Hebrew Inked Celebs: Genesis P-Orridge

Today we have Genesis P-Orridge in our celebrity corner. An English performer, musician, writer and artist, P-Orridge is a founder of the music group Psychic TV, and that was what he had meant to tattoo in Hebrew on his arm. "Psychic TV" that is.

P-Orridge's Hebrew tattoo was photographed and submitted to BHT by Daniel:


As you can see, this tattoo is a brave attempt, but it doesn't quite work as intended. It roughly says "Psekakh Tav" Psekakh is just gibberish, though Tav actually has a meaning in Hebrew, it means "note".

When you want to transcribe a name, such as "Psychic TV", you have to pay attention to how it's pronounced. This is why in Hebrew "psychic" loses its P while the Y is expressed, and the letters of TV are written fully. The result is this:


Yep, if Psychic TV is your favorite band, now you know how to write its name for your very own Hebrew tattoo!

Your Name is What? Xara

Today's victim wanted to tattoo the name of her daughter, Xara, in Hebrew on her back:


Unfortunately, the transcription of this name from English to Hebrew was poorly done. Add to that a bit of freehand styling, and you've got yourself something utterly unrecognizable.

Had I not actually known this tattoo was meant to say Xara, I never would have guessed. In fact, it reads something like "Ksaoch".

The first mistake is due to the letter X, which is absent from the Hebrew language. Whoever composed this tattoo, used the Hebrew letters Qof and Samekh to represent the X. This combination reads as "KS", but the kid is not named Ksara, is she?

When transcribing a name, phonetics are very important. We've seen this kind of phonetics fail already, in a "Michaela" tattoo. See, the name Xara can be pronounced as either Zara or Sara and the Hebrew should be written accordingly.

This is how you write Sara and all its variations (Sahra Sahrah Sarah Sarra Sarrah) in Hebrew:


This is how you write Zara and all its variations (Zahra Zahrah Zarah Zarra Zarrah) in Hebrew:


The second mistake in the original tattoo, is the sloppy styling. Do not attempt styling Hebrew letters unless you know Hebrew!

Many Hebrew letters are similar to each other, a tiny line or a single curve make all the difference. Two letters in this tattoo are mutants by styling:


Compare these letters to the tattoo, can you see what went wrong? Styling your Hebrew is dangerous. Kids, don't do it!

Your Name is What? Michaela

Today's victim meant well. He wanted the names of his kids tattooed in Hebrew on his belly, probably even asked a native speaker for advice...


Too bad his tattoo was translated by a moron.

Funny really, we've got two names, Michaela and Trevor. Trevor (on the bottom) is a name that has nothing to do with Hebrew, yet it is perfectly written. Michaela (on top), on the other hand, is a proper Hebrew name, but was mangled beyond recognition.

The problem with a name like Michaela, is that you never know how to pronounce it. In Hebrew, Michaela is pronounced as mi-khah-EH-lah. In English, the standard seems to be mi-KAY-lah.

It's a confusing name! I wouldn't even blame the hapless translator, except his result is absolutely appalling. It reads mi-tchah-eh-lah, sounds a bit like Mitchell, and has an extra Aleph just for kicks. This error is one only a native Hebrew speaker with spotty knowledge of English will make.

Now, if you don't want to be fouled by phonetics too, pay attention. This is how you write Michaela in Hebrew:


The top is Michaela with the Hebrew pronunciation. The bottom is the English pronunciation, and it can be used for all related spellings, such as McKayla, Mikayla, Makayla and so on.

There's a lesson to be learned here. When getting a name translated to Hebrew, do tell your translator what it's supposed to sound like!

Your Name is What? Jessica

Today's victim, a girl named Jessica, wanted her name tattooed in Hebrew. Check out her tattoo:


Those of you familiar with Hebrew, can notice two interesting facts:

1. The tattoo is written in script
2. It actually says Jetsica

I had to mention the writing being in script, as it suggests that this tattoo was composed by a native speaker - either a stupid or a drunk one. He used the Hebrew letter Tsadi for the S in Jessica, even though Tsadi sounds nothing like S. Tsadi doesn't even have an equivalent letter in English, and it sounds like "ts" or like "zz" in pizza.

The correct way to write Jessica in Hebrew, is by using a Samekh - it sounds exactly like S. You can see two versions of Jessica below, the first written in script (my own handwriting) and the second is in print.

Your Name is What? Brian and Angie

Tattooing your loved one's name in Hebrew is a very romantic gesture. Getting it wrong - not so much.


Today's victim wanted a Hebrew tattoo of his own name (Brian, on the right) and the name of his girl (Angie - on the left), unfortunately, he managed to misspell them both.

Brian - There's only one mistake, but a crucial one. He used the regular Nun insead of the final form (Nun Sofit). For letters which have a final form, the final form should always be used at the end of a word.

Angie - Some creative spelling here. 3 mistakes in one small word, phenomenal.

1. In English, G can be read two ways, as in "game" or as in "gentle". In old Hebrew, the sound G as in "gentle" or "Angie", didn't exist. In modern Hebrew it was artificially added by putting an apostrophe right after the letter Gimel. Do you see an apostrophe in that tattoo?
2. The author had a hard time figuring out the "ie" part of "Angie", and decided to use the Nikkud (vowels - look for dots in the tattoo) as if they were letters. Bad idea. In Hebrew you only apply vowels to letters, you never use them as a standalone, never apply them to an empty space. Overall, don't attempt Nikkud unless you know exactly what you're doing. Most native Hebrew speakers don't dare mess with it, so you shouldn't either!
3. Instead of that Nikkud disaster, the letter Yod should be used for the "ie" in "Angie".

This is how Brian is supposed to be written in proper Hebrew:

And this is Hebrew for Angie:

Your Name is What? Patrick

Today's victim thinks he has the name "Patrick" tattooed in Hebrew on his arm. He is quite wrong.


This Hebrew tattoo says "Nadav", which is a common enough biblical guy name.

The name Nadav means Generous, Noble.
The name Patrick means Patrician, Nobleman.

But you can see the overlap, you say?

That apparent overlap is false, because the noble in "Nadav" is that of "noble deeds" rather than "an aristocrat" as in "Patrick".

This transformation of Patrick into Nadav is so loose, it can be barely traced. So you see, this guy is walking around with someone else's name permanently etched into his arm.

This is how you write "Patrick" in Hebrew, not translated, but as is:

Your Name is What? Kelly

The classic mistake in the art of Hebrew tattoo: it's written backwards.
Yep. instead of saying "Kelly" as the girl no doubt intended, this colorful cutie says "Yelk".

Tattoo wannagets, do remember, Hebrew is written from right to left.

Your Name is What? Shmuel (Samuel)

This one says "Shmuel", which is Hebrew for Samuel. So far so good. However, the creator must have forgotten that Hebrew is written right to left, and so this tattoo reads from bottom to top, which, you must agree, is not the natural order of things.