The Utterance of Gibberish

Bad tattoos are dozen for a dime, but a truly pathetic wreck is a bit harder to find. Behold exhibit A:

According to the owner, it's supposed to say "I am the utterance of my name".

Of course, it says nothing of the sort. In fact it says nothing of any sort. Just a random and totally meaningless bunch of Hebrew letters.

The not-so-amazing Grace

This little piece of weird is supposed to say "Amazing Grace", but doesn't.

Its proud owner most probably just stuck the "Amazing Grace" song lyrics into a translator, then promptly inked it on... forgetting that such trivialities as grammar exist.

The good news - The meaning IS recognizable.
The bad news - Mangled language doesn't exactly make you look smart.

Now, this is how you properly write "Amazing Grace":

Your Name is What? Kelly

The classic mistake in the art of Hebrew tattoo: it's written backwards.
Yep. instead of saying "Kelly" as the girl no doubt intended, this colorful cutie says "Yelk".

Tattoo wannagets, do remember, Hebrew is written from right to left.

Made by Shoes

This next piece is hilarious. Poor guy was going for "My Bride" in Hebrew, this is what he got:

I was baffled when I saw this, it actually says, "Your Shoes Made You". A quick bit of googling solved the mystery, though. It is supposed to be a partial quote from Isaiah 54:5, which literally means "Your Husband is Your Maker"... not quite what this guy had in mind, is it now?
Now, here's where the trusted tattooist went wrong, turning the husband into a pair of shoes:

Oh well. At least he didn't attempt to punctuate.

For the curious, this is how you actually spell "My Bride" in Hebrew:

Say Hi!

There are many Hebrew tattoos that simply say "Hi".

No, this isn't done on purpose, what the poor idiots wanted was the word "Chai", meaning life, or alive. It's a very common thing to put on a tattoo, and a VERY common thing for a tatooist to misspell:

Oh well, at least this one is pretty:

Now the next image is how a "Chai" is actually supposed to look. See how the "Chet", the letter on the right is all connected? When you leave a gap, you get a completely different letter "He".

Of course, if those girls just went for a piece of Chai Jewelry instead of a tattoo, mistakes and permanency would not have been an issue.

Sterling Silver CHAI Hebrew Letter Pendant, 18"